MindYourWicket

Adversity is not a likely friend at your dinner table. It is an uninvited guest who drops in blocking out the sun and holding a big sad bunch of stormy clouds. No person is a stranger to adversity, especially sportspersons. It can make you feel like a loser, not just on the field but in other arenas of life as well.

Anyone, even the mentally toughest amongst us, will not be ready to welcome adversity with open arms. However, adversity is essential in building up resilience. Think about a certain time in life where you have experienced hardship and think about the present situation. Though the situation may or may not have worsened, your mind is more resilient; much more resilient than someone who hasn’t gone through hardships in the past. For a sportsperson, life is all about adversities and how you weave through them. But it is also important that we cope with adversities in healthy manners. Those athletes who use healthy coping mechanisms usually have a longer sports career than those who use maladaptive or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

While there are different kinds of adversities, we shall talk about emotional adversity and coping today. Emotional adversity happens when we let our emotions overcome us. They will make us do bad and hurtful things, not just to ourselves but also others. This in turn can lead to other adversities, like mental adversities, financial adversities, etc. For example, rage. Not being able to efficiently manage anger can lead to self-harming behaviors, like exercising too much and injuring yourself. It can also lead to problems in relationships with others, for instance, throwing things around while arguing with your parents. Left unchecked, it can go on to affect you negatively in other places as well. It can lead you to invest unwisely and lose a ton of money, or play poorly in a tournament and cost you your spot on the team, or instill a bad social image which might cost you your career.

Here are five things we can do when we go through Emotional adversity:

1. Be aware of it. It is essential for us to be aware of our thoughts, thought patterns and their emotional outcomes. Being aware or knowing when our emotions are taking too much charge of our words and actions is the first step in conquering adversity. This, however, doesn’t come overnight. It comes with regular practice of introspection. Give sometime for yourself daily to examine your own thoughts and feelings. Talking to your Psychologist about them will also be helpful to gain more insight.

• Train your perspective. It’s all about how you look at it. Adrian McInman once asked a cricket captain, “What is mental pressure?” That one question was enough to change the perspective of the same. If we perceive something as mentally stressful or adverse, it would solidify its standing. But if we perceive an adversity as a challenge, or as an opportunity to prove your mettle, it changes its definition in your mind. It doesn’t seem as threatening as before and you might even invite it with a sly smirk.

• No judgement allowed. This is in follow-up to the point above. You are aware of your thoughts and emotions. Great! As a fellow human and a psychologist I know the great deal of negativity and toxicity that our own minds can spew out. It is true what they say, “Our minds are our greatest friends and worst enemies”. What to do with all the junk that creeps out of nowhere, sometimes sucking you into a whirlpool of anxiety? Let it go! I know, I know, easier said than done right? Often we find it hard to let go because we are so focused on the ‘letting go’. In the process we end up giving more attention to that thought, giving it more foot-hold in our minds. To build up resilience we have to look at our negative thoughts, yes, even our worst thoughts with no judgement. After all, you are the one who’s in control of what thoughts to keep and what thoughts to let go. When we look at thoughts without judgement, just viewing them as ‘passing thoughts’, they lose their strength and you find it easier to actually ‘let go’.

• Bring out the knitting needles. Well, not knitting needles strictly. Any interesting activity you can get your hands on. As a cricketer, it is not just important that you master cricket. But it is also important that you develop other hobbies and activities as well. It can be other sports also. Those cricketers who have other interests tend to be more resilient and better performers than those who don’t. These activities become very important in times of adversities. Not only do they provide the necessary distraction needed, but they also give comfort and a sense of mastery. Don’t have any such hobby or interest yet? Don’t worry! You can pick up something starting right now! It can be activity you would like to learn. Bonus points if it helps you create something. This is the reason many choose arts & crafts, because it gives you a personalized end-product. But it also can be learning a new video-game, a new sport, a new craft, or even a new job/business.

• Here and Now. Lastly, focus on the present. The present is right here with you. But the past is gone and the future is unknown. What is known is only the present. This is the crux of mindfulness. Being mindful of your present surroundings, your present mood, your present breathing, your present heart rate, all will help you build up resilience by allowing you more control over your present situation. Infact, it is by mindfulness we understand how much control we actually have. It is by focusing on the present that we understand how much we have to be grateful and thankful for. It also gives us hope that the next day, no, the next hour will bring us better things.